There, I said it. And I feel much better about it too. Of course, this post would be much harsher if it had been written at, say, 3 PM, after two and half hours of leining... in a shul with thirty people.
I'm not so into dancing in general. While I dance at weddings, I get bored quickly and frustrated when the dancing drags on and on. On Simchas Torah, this is precisely what happens. There is only a limited number of times someone can walk around in circles before he gets bored. And for me that happens very quickly.
I was in Lakewood (soon to be my parents' new home) for yom tov. I have to say emphatically that Flatbush is better (trust me, it pains me to say Flatbush is good for anything). The hakufos in the shul I davened last only and hour and half, but we still managed to finish at 3:30 (or so I assume since I left after kedusha because the guy was going all out with his Rosh Hashana adaptation). And the other shuls in the area ended just as late.
At least on Yom Kippur we're doing something the entire time. Knowing that there's a whole meal waiting at home, especially when the shul has nothing more than cake for kiddush, is really frustrating.
At one point (about 3) a kid told his father he was hungry. The father responded, "What do you want me to do? Throw up so you have something to eat?" Well, that was pretty much what the baal korei did (right before he had to carried home).
But on a good note, I met a guy who was exactly what Vince Vaughn would be if he was Jewish and frum. He was hysterical.
Update: Apparently not everyone agrees with me.
(Hat Tip: Yeshiva Orthodoxy)